Seeing The World Through The Eyes Of A Diplomat’s Son [1st POV story]
Disclaimer: This interview was originally conducted in German and then translated into English. This story is written in the 1st POV from Fabian’s perspective.
A history lesson about myself
In 2000, I was born in Indonesia where my mother adopted me when I was 6 weeks old. From then on my exciting life began. I have been moving from point A to point B all my life. Since my mother works at the German Federal Foreign Office, we moved about every four years so, I spent my schooldays in different countries.
From 2007–2008 I was at the German School in Istanbul, Turkey. Then we moved to Lagos, Nigeria. There I attended the German School for up to five years until the 6th grade. We then moved to Berlin, where I attended the 7th and 8th grade at a Protestant secondary school. In the summer of 2015, I moved to Beijing and went to the German Embassy School, where I also graduated high school. That was my last move abroad, so to speak. I then went on to study Chinese for another quarter of a year at the University of International Business and Economics.
Now I am in Germany. This past summer, I started an apprenticeship at the German Federal Foreign Office. Meanwhile, my mother is abroad again and my father, who works for the Federal Police, is also in Germany and working in his previous department.
Being different
I have come to notice distinct differences about people who have lived abroad that not only pertain to Foreign Service families: we are more open towards the world, we are more organized and have a certain worldview and also understand the world better. We get along better with more people than compared to people who have only known and lived in one area. This is exactly what I find special about living abroad — not because my parents work at the Foreign Office and I benefit from things like diplomatic immunity, but because you get the opportunity to live abroad. Through that, you also get the opportunity to get to know new cultures and discover new languages, food, and people. You become more self-aware in these situations and I think that really shapes you as a person.
Of course, there are disadvantages such as the constant moving around. As a toddler you just accept the situation for what it is. If you move for the first time in your life as a teen, the move can be more difficult because you are not used to making new friends quickly from an early age. A friend of mine found it quite difficult transitioning to a life abroad after having spent 15 years in a small town of Germany, but it really depends on the personal situation. I personally never had any problems with it except in Lagos. The school in Lagos was relatively small. There were only 12 students at the school and you had to be able to get along with people accordingly. You had a limited choice of friends. But as a 9 or 10 year-old, I just accepted the situation. I was just a little kid and I spent most of my time thinking about Lego and wanting to play cops and robbers. But I have to admit that saying goodbye was very difficult because I spent five years there and I got used to the people there. I got homesick for a while, even though Lagos is not my real home country.
When we moved to Beijing, I felt out of place for a short time. We were still living in a hotel apartment because our move had not arrived in China yet. I hid it well but I was ridden with homesickness because of my old friends and not being used to my new surroundings, but that feeling went away with time. If you have been through this all your life, you get used to it pretty quickly.
Adjusting to a new beginning
The thing is I always look forward to new things. I am also very curious. I am very keen to experiment and try out new things. I think I am a special case because not everyone finds it easy to be that open. But no matter where I am, I find my way and make the best of it to try new things. After a while living in Beijing, I made friends, got older, and found other interests and hobbies to pursue. You grow up and get to know the other sides of yourself.
The older you get, the more important friendships become and I am so glad to have spent my youth in Beijing. There was so much to do and discover! Beijing is a great city for expats. At the school in Beijing, I noticed that new students who arrive every year are cordially welcomed and received. Generally speaking, I found it easier to find friends abroad than at home. There are always these welcome parties before the school year begins where everyone is invited. There are also other events hosted throughout the year such as a Documentary Film Evening with a Q&A session with the director or a talk show featuring the President EU Chamber of Commerce in China.
My final tips
You should not spend much time dwelling on how bad you are feeling in your new home. You really have to try to tune out that feeling. I think that works best when you try to find friends as quickly as possible. This way you get a completely different impression of your new home much faster. Joining after-school activities also helps.
Every move gives you a chance to start over. You have the chance to reinvent yourself. Try to figure out for yourself who you are. The new people around you do not know who you were before and it is your prerogative to show yourself the way you want to be seen with no previous prejudice about your personality.
You should not forget the old friends you made though. When moving, you should not neglect those who actually mean something to you and who have helped and supported you a lot in your life. Even when you end up making new friends, I think it is still important to maintain contact.
Cheers!
